We are almost done with the week, so I thought I would leave you with something that is important to me. I’m sure this could easily be a debatable topic by personal preference, but I wanted to share my experience and why I think this way. So, here are a few reason why I do not regret being selfish in my twenties. Growing up in the midwest I have learned that most people/friends my age have taken a certain path. It’s graduating high school, going to college, finding ‘the one’, getting married, getting the job, and having kids…and a lot (in my experience) all do it by the age of 26-27. I obviously chose to take a different path..a ‘selfish’ path as I say. And yes, selfish doesn’t have the best connotation, but I use it because I did put myself first in my twenties…and I think that is okay.
For me, it was much more important to find myself and my career long before I could fully commit to a husband, a home, and definitely children. I did meet my fiancee my sophomore year of college, but immediately told him (before dating) that my career is important to me and I will, at some point, move away to achieve it. Luckily, he supported me the entire way…and we never looked back. (And after 8 years finally getting hitched).
Now that I am back in the Midwest I am definitely surrounded by married couples and children, so even though I’m ‘behind’ as it seems, I wouldn’t change it for a second. I would recommend anybody who is recently out of college to be a bit selfish and focus on building your career, making new friends, traveling, and having fun. I won’t say it was super easy living in NC on my own, missing my boyfriend, holidays, friends gatherings, etc but I realized that I will have the rest of my life to do that once I figured my shit out and really experience independence.
So, for those who do read my blog and are just starting out in any career, don’t feel bad for putting yourself first..we are still young and have plenty of time to ‘settle’ down. I’m pretty sure it will pay off in the end and be well worth it! Selfish doesn’t always have to be a bad thing (within reason of course ;)
Wow this post hit home for me! I am also from the Midwest and am halfway through college and totally see what you saw. My friends are finding the one and everyone and their dog is getting married and planning a family and I know I don’t want that, at least right now. While I am going to be a teacher and not working at a Fortune 500 company I still want to focus on my job. I want to travel and see the world I also told my boyfriend before we dated that I want to be selfish and enjoy life before having children, if at all! While my family may not agree with my decision to not follow the “midwest plan” it is MY life and I am going to be selfish when it comes to what I want. You have know idea how thankful I am of this post and to know that I’m not alone in thinking that your twenties are made to be a little selfish. Thank you so much for posting!
Hi Marissa,
Thank you sharing your story! I had about 7 other ladies post a comment with the same thing (I lost the comments after my hosting transfer) but you are definitely not alone! And yes, I get the ‘do you want to have kids someday?’ question a lot..and honestly, we both do not know..we are just not ready and I’m not ready to share my fiancee yet! Keep up your plans, because it will definitely pay off in the long run!!
This article is just what I needed to hear…I graduated from college a couple years ago and by now my friends are married and I just found out this week that one is pregnant. It’s unfortunate that people (parents) assume that if you’re not married and having kids by thirty you’re not being “successful.” Thank you for the reassurance that it’s ok to selfishly want to be able to sleep in on weekends instead of dealing with little kids-ha!
Finally someone who gets it! People keep pressuring me and my partner asking when we are getting engaged, buying a house etc etc. I worked really hard to get my degree and my career and I get made to feel bad for wanting to excel in what I worked so hard for. Yay for being selfish and putting yourself first!
[…] Enjoyed reading Angela’s take on why it’s okay to be a bit selfish when you are in your twenties. I really agree with her, I know some friends who took the stereotypical ‘Midwestern’ […]
This was something I really needed to hear. I live in a small Texas town and everyone around me is married and/or have children. It isn’t uncommon that I get asked about my dating life and when I respond with “I don’t think I’m ready or have time for that,” I get strange looks as if to say… “well time is a tickin'”. It is nice to hear from a woman such as yourself who has taken a path to better suit your life instead of just following the path of others. I feel I need to work on me and my career before tackling relationships and babies. You’re truly an inspiration and I admire you for your hard-work and following a path that is best for YOU. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing too! I definitely get the feeling it is much more common in small towns, so that is just one more thing that pushed me to prove I can kick ass in my career :) I don’t know if those questions will ever stop (since I’m now getting “do you think you want kids” and I’m not even married). I hope you follow that path and are successful! Thanks for stopping by!